the balancing act – when all your balls are on the ground

Another week all laid out in front of me only one week until the bliss of school holidays when i will finally get the chance to rejuvenate and get back on track! And so the week begins with the best of intentions: School Run, Soccer training x 2 soccer fanatics, work( taken on more hours  getting ready for that electricity bill), shopping, paying the bills, rego due (and note to self think the electricity bill is going to arrive – (get tissues out) )  studying,  play dates, cleaning, shopping, cooking, walking the dog, making hubby’s lunch. You ladies know – just the usual. Then add in the fact I remember I haven’t seen/called  friends in over a week, my dad and I haven’t had a coffee in weeks, Oh and even though he is 25, I need to call my little brother and remind him it is nearly his rego time.

And then mental merry go round of mummyville begins in my head : You really need to find that camp note you got a week ago because we don’t have half the things we need to pack, did he ever return that overdue book? Naplan is next term, i know it doesn’t really reflect his abilities but i do need to find that testing book i bought and do some quizzes..and while i am at it my preppie should really keep practising those letter land characters….he is behind the rest of the class with that….. Oh crap is todays my preppie’s turn of show and tell?, I really need to write that down. Shit, Shit and Double shit, I forgot to bring those toilet rolls and magazines for daycare, oh crap i also forgot i was going to try and do tuckshop this week… i didn’t make it last week…..oh no, i think it is one of the daycare girls birthdays, i need to get her a card…at woolies this afternoon…and also hubby  needs more deodorant, the dog needs a new chew toy….is it my turn to bring something to soccer training….my kids ate up everything in sight last week because i forgot….i should do a fruit platter and some fresh air popped popcorn when i drop the shopping off… shift i won’t have time for that… shapes will do.. you need to really cook all the snacks this week since you keep promising you will stop buying packaged food but each week shopping day rolls around and in goes those pre made snacks that save you precious time in the morning and well, you will find the time next week. Oh yes and then there is the added reminders to keep nourishing myself – find time to blog, read blogs, spend some time mediating, build my business so i can work for myself, finish reading gabrielle bernsteins spirit junkie book, declutter my desk, feng shui my house and a must this week – Shave my nasty legs!!!!!!…and lets be honest…my eyebrows have practically grown a lovely bridge there…pluck those suckers tonight….and a wax for my lady biscuit is well over due…. can’t even remember the last time i saw it…….but $40 for a wax..maybe I could do it myself .. (flashback to being single and poor and a microwaved tub of Nars and a subsequent trip to the doctors thinking i had burnt off half my lady biscuit) and i rethink things… maybe can get it all done at once .. bikini,eyebrows, legs.. shit when am i going to have time for that… crap maybe just go to the gym 3 x this week………..

How when i know better did i get here AGAIN? Overwhelmed running out of time, running on empty, tired, frustrated, unable to get traction and move forward in ANY space in my life and on a balance beam that is tipped so precariously that even though i keep dropping the balls all over the place, i keep throwing a few more up in the air? Although i know how and know how to fix it, it didn’t stop me detouring into shit city on a train that would be lucky to keep on going. And then because the universe must of been thinking – this crazy woman just doesn’t get it, it decided it was time for me to derail completely in shit city to learn the lesson i kept avoiding. And so i was back there I could hear the lesson whispering at me in the background of the mummy merry-go round of chaos – the lesson? : You can do anything – you just can’t do everything. Prioritise what is important and the rest will happen as it needs to. Release Control. Let go. Simplify.  I know its the right thing but my mummy merry-go-round says – are you crazy you don’t have time go that – lets just get to school holidays and it will all work out. I know it sounds crazy – as if we have more TIME on the school holidays but i didn’t have the time to stop and face reality i just sped up the train – destination : SHIT CENTRAL.

2 days out from school holidays, my best friend called me to tell me that she is laying up in emergency as a pain she had in her arm that she had told me about the day before, was a possible nasty infection and she was waiting to get antibiotics and find out the deal. I promised her i would come and see her as lets face it, i love the girl and she was in hospital! She knew that thursday was my last kid free day before school holidays and i had organised a few things  so i raced around getting all the things done i had piled onto this one day of mummy freedom insisting i could do it all by cramming it into a daycare/school day! When i got up there late in the afternoon (before school pick up and then subsequent soccer training and then racing to get my littlest one from daycare and then heading home to start work at 5 ,(i know what you are thinking – yes seems like a completely balanced afternoon, what could go wrong?) I found her in massive amounts of pain, waiting for doctors to give her some more pain relief. I stroked her head, got her water, stomped around emergency unimpressed my bestie wasn’t higher on their list of priorities and unpacked all her clothes into her dresser to make her feel better (and also as a way to avoid the reality of the situation) and once her hubby arrived, promised she would be fine, gave her a kiss and headed off to the school run.

Soccer training – get messages from bestie upset they are transferring her and she is worried no -one will pack up her stuff properly. I race back up there. More Hair stroking, careful hugs and more wanting to punch insensitive doctors in the face for poking her in her sore spot saying -“Does this hurt?” while she grimaces in pain and cries. Pack up things in the exact order she wants and promise that the ambulance will take ages to arrive anyway so not to worry about being moved before her kids can visit. Tell her i love her and i will see her soon.

Immerse myself in afternoon chaos, oldest son mad i make him leave Soccer training 10 minutes early which is the only way i can even be close to getting home in time for work. Middle child announces may pee pants 2 minutes into journey home. Arrive at daycare, grab littlest one, rush home in time to start work ( i work FT from home -hey how lucky you are i can hear you all thinking! Well yes…and no… but thats a different post altogether!!) Throw dinner on, pies and chips with steamed packet vegies- their favourite but i feel like the shittest mum ever, should i have made this from scratch and omg microwave veggies, why am i even bothering??? (mummy merry-go-round note to self – research nutrient deficiency of microwave veggies oh yes and then grown my own of course to avoid this problem…. oh yes and throw out the microwave too!) Easy peasy. Now back to reality. Break up kids wrestling match by sending oldest for his shower, and putting on something mind numbing on the disney channel for the other two, chuck an organic yoghurt at them for silence (well done i think – it has the word organic on it) and get some work done.

Eventually chaos settles, hubby comes home, kids go to bed and my world and the mummy merry go round starts to slow. I feel like i have some control now, moving closer to how i want to feel. Calm and Happy. Send hubby off to the gym, dishwasher on, smashing through my work like a pro and then message from Bestie’s hubby  pings on my phone. Short. Simple. Makes my world stop. : Its not good. she is in ICU. Panic, smiling and answering calls for work, robotic station switched on as my brain implodes with all the noise. I should have made her go to the doctor when she called yesterday….i should have made those bloody doctors look at her more…how did i miss this after all i have learnt in the medical field….i should have known….i should have been with her all day not just gone up in the afternoon…etc etc etc.

Hubby gets home from gym, i collapse into tears. Hubby hugs me, tells me to stay positive and how strong my bestie is and the it will be alright speech. Calms me enough to get through the rest of my shift and fall into a restless sleep. Wake up and find out over the course of the night she has required emergency surgery, they don’t know what is really wrong and she was put to sleep to be able to rest and heal but there are no guarantees, everything hovers in the air. i feel like the the breath is knocked out me. It feels like i am falling into a rabbit hole. Everything stops. Except in mummy world nothing stops. I want to crawl into bed and go to sleep until my world is returned to normal. Instead, i get everyone off to school. I will collapse later.

Get to school, the word is out in mummy land as she is a much loved mum in the school community. More tears and hugs and offers of help from other beautiful mums. Mummyville merry go round stops. Fighter instinct, warrior me, kicks in. The needs to keep moving, keep busy, anything to avoid the feelings, start to drive me so… I get organised – get a meals menu happening for the family, organise drop off times, classroom fridges fill up, my phone pings every few minutes with offers of help and meal delivery notifications. I am distracted. If i stop, i feel too much at once, then i cry and feel like i am falling back down that rabbit hole. So, I . DONT. STOP.

Perceptions shift. Clarity – nothing is more important than family, friends, love, faith and health. Everything else serves as a distraction from the pure basic pleasure of the simple fact. it is all love. thats it. The Beatles knew it, we all KNOW it. Yet we feel like it can’t be that easy, there must be more. The world lets us down, reinforces the negatives we believe, people disapoint us, things don’t go our way and we harden ourselves, for our emotional safety but in that state is is often hard to see the positive, by habit, we have programmed ourselves to expect the worst. Then, we stand to lose some of that love (or we lose someone we love) and we remember with pure clarity : The people we love are what is most important. We see what is important. The universe slaps us hard across the face. We focus more, be more present , more patient more loving, live our lives with intention because we really the value and beauty of life and its preciousness.

We get taught the lesson, the meaning of it all. Be honest – how many of us have this experience, we lose a loved one or someone we know gets sick or passes away or we see a news article about a child or young person/parent or someone who we relate to dying and we feel grateful and blessed with our lives. Decide to live with intent. We FEEL the abundance of being ALIVE. Not rich or smart or having the pefect body/house/car, just being ALIVE. That simple.  Well I get it. And i am going to hold onto this clarity and remember to live my life accordingly. I got derailed from my journey to live a more simple, pure and authentic life and started adding attachments and attainments to my life purpose and ended up in shit city with no more money or fuel in tank. Always racing to the next stop, not taking the time to enjoy the journey and the stops along the way.

And my bestie? I am grateful to say she is home and recovering, but it is going to be a new journey we are on now. We both feel expanded by the lesson, we get it,  we already had it all, we just didn’t see it.  I am grateful for my life and family and friends and my health. For now i am going to honour that in my choices. Besides, my baby is up and i have a date with him, the lounge room rug and a box of duplo. xxxx oh and P.P.S – Hoping to shave those legs tonight xx

Spirited Interview Part 2 – A special interview with Penny Lomas, Covergirl and Circus Star (in the making! …..) xxx

Well here it is…. my spirited interview number 2. Things have been rather chaotic in my world with the beginning of the school year, returning to study myself and my 9 year old taking a nasty tumble off a skateboard and ending up with a face of grazes and a black eye! I really wanted to make sure i could do this interview justice as i am such a fan of this amazing woman and was so excited she was willing to be part of this, i didn’t want to half arse it!

In the very beginning of my journey to find out who i was, and what i was capable of, i found myself at a cross roads. I has discovered I loved weight training and boxing classes at the gym ( amazing therapy!)

I was noticing changes in my body as well as in my mindset as my confidence grew and i discovered all the things I was capable of if i just has a bit of self-belief. Some friends and family thought these changes (which i think they had thought i would never stick to because well..usually i didn’t stick at anything) were now passed being a phase and considered me a little obsessed and out of balance.

I didn’t! I finally felt balance and a real clarify on what i wanted to FEEL and ACHIEVE in my life. One of my biggest goals was to feel and LOOK healthy and happy. But the more i looked around me at the marketing, social media and the magazines i was realising i just wasn’t seeing it.

Then, i saw it – Penny Lomas on the front cover of the first ever Oxygen Magazine i purchased. She had this amazing radiance on her face, her smile was infectious and she looked so happy and comfortable in her skin she just shone off that page. The story she shared of finding her own health and happiness was truly inspiring.

Penny is an amazing example of being authentically true to yourself. Even as a successful health and fitness writer and 3 x cover girl her blog and website are all about one thing : educating and empowering others to live a healthy happy life.

Penny is pure health and wellness. She is training in Circus tricks for goodness sake! Her coolness factor is a zillion! She is always sharing her diet tips and info on her page and it is a great insight into the Paleo way of eating.  Penny was kind enough to answer some inspired questions to share some Lomas Love our way, hope you all enjoy :

Your favourite Inspirational Quote :

I have so many! They all apply to how I’m feeling or what I am embarking on in life at that time. My favourites would have to be “believe and achieve” “don’t let one bad day stop you from reaching your goal” and “you earn your body”

If you could have 5 people over for dinner, (anyone at all alive or passed) who would they be(and why) ?

Im going to be boring and just say my family, my mum, dad and sister as they live in England so I don’t get to have a family dinner with them very often, my Nana and Grandad who have both passed away, so he could make me his mashed potato.

What is your favourite food at the moment?

I love food in general, all the time so this is a hard one! I love a good eye fillet steak, and blueberries are in season at the moment, and purple sweet potato. And I make a wicked batch of meatballs every week.

What do you wish you could tell your 10 year old self?

Eat your veggies. Respect your elders. Don’t take a break from training in your teens. Don’t eat mcdonalds. It’s ok to make mistakes, you’re supposed to.

 

Time out for yourself – How important do you think it is and how do you like to nourish yourself ?

This is very important, I am an extrovert but I also love my own space and quiet time. I like to nourish my body by reading books that are trashy novels and not about work, to go for walks and not make it a race, to take regular naps, and to invest in holistic practises to take care of myself inside and out like acupuncture, massage, Osteo, naturopathy and saunas.

 

What is your favourite fitness activity! I know you are embracing circus training!

Haha yes I would have to say at the moment it is my circus arts study! I am specialising in tumbling, trampoline and circus acrobatics. But that doesn’t mean that I have neglected my weights at all, simply my weights workouts nowadays has to support my circus, so I am doing more circuits and pylometrics. I am also getting back it light running to condition my cardio fitness for circus, in the gorgeous Melbourne summer this has been a refreshing change.

What 5 words would you use to describe YOU? Happy, driven, confident, warm, funny.

Penny is an amazing example of health and wellness. Her journey involved a complete 360 of her health and lifestyle. She battled being overweight and unhappy to becoming one of the most beloved cover girls on the fitness industry who inspires women everyday to be their best selves!

Head over and follow Penny on Facebook at    

Dallas Olsen photograhy

smiling from the inside out! This is health and happiness!

Penny Lomas: Link here or direct to her website :   http://www.pennylomas.com.au   Penny’s personal story, the one she shared in Oxygen, is there and it is an amazing one, guaranteed to get you off that couch and find ways to nourish that amazing body you have! 

Much Love , Nicole xx 

 

Mummy Guilt and The Mean Mummy Mafia that live in my mind!

The Mummy Mafia are a term i used to have for the group of women that existed at a school where my son attended. There were like the cool mean girls of high school that grew up, stayed just as gorgeous (and in most cases got even better) had money and had a cool club that you still had to be invited to join. They knew all the gossip, shared it around and basically had a way of making you feel bad about yourself.  The tended to not having anything nice to say about anyone (including each other)  and even if they weren’t , i always felt like they were judging me.  Most of this is most likely manifested by the way i felt about myself at the time but at the core if it , the mummy mafia is my nickname for the nasty commentary that is often swirling around in my mind relating to all things motherhood. She is the loudest screamer of the “You are not good enough” dialogue.  I have been at peace with her for little while, trying to focus on more positive affirmations and thought patterns but recently discovered she is still in there and as loud as ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Well my oldest son took a nasty tumble off his skateboard a few days ago and i can honestly tell you i have been wracked with Guilt, the old mafia mum voice reappeared in my head with “This is your fault, you should never have let him have a turn, you didn’t even check he put his helmet on first because you went inside for a coffee- you are a BAD parent!!!!!!!”

Seeing him all swollen and bruised and in pain was like a knife in my soul. I would catch my breath every time i saw his sad little busted face. The mafia mum (what i have named my negative voice all mummy things related!) started playing on a loop in my mind.My Louise Hay – you are enough, you have enough everything is happening as it should started to sound like a big pile of bullshit floating through my mind and My mummy mafia voice kicked my positive affirmations arse to the back of the line!Even though i knew that ultimately i cannot stop all bad things that will occur , accepting that it had happened and that i needed to forgive myself and move on seemed impossible. As mothers i think we grab onto that guilt and punish ourselves whether we truly played any part in what has occurred or not.

Granting ourselves some forgiveness and kindness during these times is so hard because as mothers we think that we do not deserve it. But how crazy is that?????

Ultimately, THINGS HAPPEN. I can also recognise that guilt and sadness manifest in my body in a physical way – woke up the next day with a nasty sore and feeling like i had been hit by the depression session bus. My energy was low, feet were dragging and my fuse with my other 2 children was SHORT.

I knew my kids AND I deserve better than this rubbish i was peddling as “what i deserved” for my child getting hurt.
Firstly, he is a kid and kids need to learn. He knew our rules on safety and why we have them and has learned a valuable lesson. I got hurt just like that numerous times ( i remember them vividly) as did my brother and friends. This is because as typical kids do, we ignore/forget the advice we have been given!

I think sometimes the helicopter parenting on our generation can cause us more stress than the kids!!!!!!
Secondly, this mummy guilt is ridiculous! Ultimately when i sat with that feeling and really processed it i realised it was no more my fault then it was the skateboards. What i have complete control over is how i will deal with what has happened.

Honestly, that first night I felt so terrible for him, i did what most mums do – gave him some of his favourite foods (processed oven baked chicken bites! he loves them but we haven’t had them for ages!!!) and then because i figured why not whilst ebbing around in my self punishing mind, i shoved a few into my gob! GASP!!!!!!! And the quick slide begins to happen! Next stop, Honey on Toast and a red wine please.

As soon as i kicked my own arse out of mummy pity-ville i headed out, stocked up on fresh organic fruits and vegetables and meats , and got him having fresh foods and healing foods. He wasn’t too thrilled by that but hey – my job is to TAKE CARE and help him to HEAL not fill him up with processed shit to make me feel better!

I am learning as i open myself up honestly to this journey, not just what i chose to see, believe , feel and acknowledge the greatest teachers in life are the hardest lessons we face.

The mafia mummies live in all of us but we have a choice in how loud their say is. I am still learning to tune her out – the guilt of not training, not spending enough time with the other two boys, she can ramble on in there forever! Those thoughts serve me no purpose just make me feel crappy and block me from moving forward positively.

Feeling back on track albeit a bit wobbly but my sense of purpose, sense of self is intact and i feel more convinced than ever I am moving in the right direction. We need to look for, accept and learn from what every experience, good or bad, brings us so we can continue to grow and ultimately it will lead to a deeper more joyful existence.
Love and Squats beauties

Finding Myself – Hey I am over here!

When i used to hear people talk about finding themselves i used to conjure up images of hippies and spiritual gurus meditating, chanting, fire twirling and having happy herbs! But after a lot of searching, reading and looking internally i have discovered it just means to really connect with what lights you up or doesn’t and be honest with yourself and your feelings and not always following the chatter in your mind or reacting to life based on past experiences or what you have heard.

So Simple it seems but for so many of us we live in the rut, the hum drum safe and (and for most of us still joyous) copy cat life we have been conditioned to want for ourselves.  We live in the mindspace of  i don’t have the time/money / means to be chasing silly dreams or hobbies. I used to be confused by the talk of people ” finding themselves”, it was simple wasn’t it? You were you and life happens TO you and that is how it works.  Now, i totally get it.

How often do we truly stop and think about what we are wanting/craving/needing/enjoying/hating in our lives? Or like me, do you just do what you do because you have always done so?  How often do our attachments to end results of attainments mean we grind through the journey to get there? To find it wasn’t what we wanted anyway but go with it because we have put in the effort? Let me put this into context for how it happened to me.  I always had goals – here is what they looked like at 20 -

1. Be Married by the time i am 25 (to a hot guy who treated me well, had a good job and a nice car – yes seriously this was my breakdown of who i would marry!)

2. Have kids by the time i am 28 (one boy one girl thanks and i wanted a boy first so he could look after his sister!)

3. Buy a house by 30 (must have a pool!!! and an ensuite)

4. Weigh under 55 kgs – (this goal was purely number based. no clothing size although i was safely assuming this would make me a size 10)

5. Study More – (Get Diploma of go to Uni  – not really tied down to a subject just wanted to have a higher education than grade 12)

is the journey already safely mapped out or can it be whatever we make it???

is the journey already safely mapped out or can it be whatever we make it???

Look familiar to anyone? Very normal looking goals. i thought they were the sorts of goals everyone had! And i guess they might be, the problem was when i looked at these goals from a new perspective i could see how i have lost myself along the way.  My joy was lost in the attachment of what it all “looked” like. I wanted a life people envied and that we were all striving for, the having it all and then some life that had been sold to me via Media and the misconception that people with these things also automatically had happiness!!!!!

With these thoughts heavily entrenched in my mind, i planned these types of goals instead of thinking about about the cost that these might come at or even if they were truly what i wanted. Happiness and Joy were not always deciding factors in what I chose to commit to and spend my time doing. My goal was based purely on what was at the end.

Take for example my goal surrounding my weight – and we all have body image weight related goals! Mine was based purely around a number. No mention of Health, Energy, Happiness or wellness, or of nourishing my amazing body.  Obviously i placed little value on these things. the goal being a number on the scale which i attached to body wellness and ultimately me being happy with myself! Ironically, when i reflect the times when i did hit my target weight were times that were linked to times of stress ( it is easy to lose weight when you are too stressed to eat!) low exercise (and consequently low energy) high sugar diet (which caused massive issues internally but hey i was 55 kgs!) and my personal favourite, kept my weight down through a steady intake of smokes and coffee! Was I happy when i got to the 55 kgs? ha! Even though i had reached my goal weight – my self love was so low that I had 10 other things about my body i wasn’t happy with to work on !

Confused? ok, lets apply self love , gratitude and joy to those same goals and this is who they would have looked!

1. Find someone i love unconditionally who loves me back just as completely

2. Have Healthy pregnancies and children and enjoy being with them (chasing after goal 3 often got in the way of this one!)

3. Have a home filled with happiness, love and laughter within our means

4. Healthy and Energised Body

5. Study and read about what interests me

When we get too focused on the end result we often cheat ourselves out of the joy that can be found along the way . When we are too attached to how we “see(think) ” things should be we often can be disappointed when in fact we are being blessed with something even greater. Life will always throw us curveballs – for example, that pigeon pair of kids i had seen in my mind since i was 13? Is in fact 3 of the most amazing delicious boys and i wouldn’t trade any of them for a girl ! The house with the pool, picket fence and ensuite was in fact a 2 bedroom unit, with no yard and one toilet! Ah the universe works in mysterious ways! I wouldn’t change any of the journey as it has taught me what i have needed to learn,the hardest lessons i have faced have been my greatest teachers. .Am i saying that if your goals are for new car, new shoes, your dream bag/top, or a new house that these goals are wrong? Hell No! i am saying that if these are the things that truly bring you joy and fill you up and continue to be a source of happiness and not a burden (as often our material pursuits can be) then go for it. What i am hoping is that you will also consider things that are also on a more personal level, a real soul level, than just possessions. Take those guitar lessons,  start that blog your been thinking about, whatever it is that makes you happy. Life is short, we should invest as much time into ourselves and our happiness as we can, we deserve it.

If i could go back and talk to 20 year old me i would simply tell her the age old saying that we all know yet often don’t live by that the  ” joy is in the journey not the destination” – Waldo Emerson xx

The Fifth Element Life – an interview with an inspired spirit , inspired Interview Series

Beautiful sarah and her gorgeous little man

Beautiful sarah and her gorgeous little man

I think as women we can often get swept up in the illusion of how life “should” be. We have often been told for most of our lives the labels that define us (Mum,Wife,Sister, Friend,Boss, Co –Worker etc) .  There is constant discussion about whether we can be have it all or if we have to chose a “role” and then dedicate ourselves to that , putting our own goals and needs aside.

Often we pick careers that hold security for us, but hold no passion. I have discovered though, many  women in all walks of life, in all industries who are living their life on their terms defined by their spirit and drive in the areas that light them up. Over the next few weeks, I have been lucky enough to interview some of  these amazing women and share their stories with you.

None of these amazing women belong in a defined role, they have created their own. They are masters of many talents and have amazing attitudes to life. They have had struggles and really pursued their dreams and I think that should be an inspiration to us all.  It hasn’t always been easy for them but the journey is bigger than the destination and they will all tell you it has been worth it.

Sarah is a beautiful blogger and Mum who is living her passion on her amazing site The Fifth element Life. Her honest blogs and beautiful spirit to chase your passion and loves to wherever they take you is one I love to read! I was lucky enough to get to know her a bit better when I interviewed this beautiful woman,

Sarah, What is Your favourite Inspirational Quote? ;

 Holy can of worms! There are so many. This one is quite universal, simple yet beautifully complex, too. “Be the change you wish to see in the world” Ghandi. It’s so profoundly true, everything starts within you. You create your change, and thus vibrates out into the universe which has no choice but to follow you!

If you could have 5 people over for dinner, (anyone at all alive or passed) who would they be(and why) ?

You know, I have NEVER been formally asked this question, but I have had my list just WAITING for forever! HA! Here goes:

 Albert Einstein – this guy was soooo incredibly wise beyond his years, wanna get me some more of that!

Russell Brand – for the laughs, the excitement and spiritual connection

My dad – well, because it would be nice to see him again and he would have a great laugh with my eclectic bunch!

Brandon Boyd (lead singer of my fav band, Incubus) – my ultimate hall pass – he would basically just be there to serenade me, receipt me poetry and hopefully to take his shirt off.

 and Beyonce – well, because she’s Beyonce. Nuff said.

What has surprised you the most on your motherhood journey so far?

Um, everything?! Surprised how you can love someone so much, surprised how on earth you created such a perfect thing!, surprised I survived not sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time for months, surprised how much I could learn about myself in such a short amount of time, the list just goes on!

Self Care as a mum what does that mean for you?

This one would be one of the hardest things to understand as a mum – we gain so much in the life we create, but we also struggle with losing apart of ourselves, and often get attached to the idea that we no longer are our own #1 priority. I totally get the whole putting yourself first thing, and I do (to an extent), afterall, if you aren’t the best version of yourself, then your children won’t get the best of you, either. It means to be forgiving to yourself, but to also remember who you are and what you stand for and what you deserve. To endlessly love yourself as well as your child/children.

Nurture your own growth, health, happiness too. Specifically speaking, mine would be to always give myself time to do what I love – reading tarot, blogging, designing, reading, cooking, learning, dancing. Checking in with myself on a regular basis. Eating a nutritious diet. 

What is your favourite food at the moment?

I’m definitely on the smoothie train. I love juicing and juice fasting, but as a start to everyday we now enjoy beautiful fruit and veg smoothies. Local bowen mangos + frozen organic mixed berries + chia + oat milk is whats trending at home right now! 

What do you wish you could tell your 10 year old self?

You are amazing and I love you, your perfect just the way you are.

What lights you up at the moment ?

In a nutshell, helping people. I’ve had such a huge surge of energy to put towards creating more businesses and tools to continue to spread my healing, teaching and spiritual messages…. But the core of it all is that I simply just love helping people. With everything – parenting, business, health, career, relationships – its what makes my heart sing.

Nutrition obviously plays an important role in your overall health, what would a normal day of yummy soul food look like in your world?

A regular day of eating for me would be – wake up, drink some water (if i have lemons, throw a bit in!) followed by a smoothie – we change colours most days! (like to go through the rainbow in a week) – then have some avocado on toast (5 seed bread or if I have it, a spourted bread from the health food shop); then usually that sustains me until lunch; we have home made vegetarian sausage rolls, vege omelettes, or sometimes air-fried wedges (as we are big potato lovers in this household, my little one is going through a phase of his main food group being a spud; and I might admit I have also been in this phase for almost 28 years!)… then in the arvo we will have a fresh juice, an apple/sultanas and through to dinner I love making raw brocolli pesto with organic spinach fettachini and parmesan crusted chickpeas! not to mention clean eating type vegetarian pizzas, nachos, roast vegetable salads etc etc. We are raising our son to be vegetarian and all meals we cook Since we moved from Syd – Townsville we are missing our pletora of amazing food choices so its urged me to get back to basics and cook lots of yummy, creative, healthy vegetarian meals everyday. I’ve lost about 5 kgs just doing that alone, having more awareness of what was going into our meals and using alot less processed, high sugar and dairy products x

 

Sarah has an amazing website http://www.thefifthelementlife.com/ with amazing mandala jewellery, goddess illustrations and just inspiration in every corner to follow your spirit! Her blogs are funny , honest and inspiring. She is a mum to a beautiful little boy and just like all of us finding her way through motherhood and chasing her dreams.  Head over and visit her on her website and Facebook page.

it was also this gorgeous girls birthday last week – so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL!!!!! 

Putting me on my to-do list!

I guess as the new year starts and all these new intentions fill our life and for some reason the new year seems to give us this “permission” that we can try that little bit harder to improve ourselves and strive after our dreams and goals. Gyms are full – which i think is awesome by the way! , people are joining bootcamps, instagramming their healthier food choices and generally just  making a concerted effort to live their best life, in whatever resonates with you,  and i think that is the magic of a new year.

0953ca648c7396d27c6b29c09f88830a

The problem seems to be that as the year progresses the routine hum drum of life also returns, work, kids, family, friends, school. drama, illness, bills  and the inevitable unforeseen curveballs-whatever they may be, will occur.  The first thing we as mums especially seems to do? We put ourselves back to the bottom of the to-do list.  The most amazing lesson i guess i learnt in my journey is that i can take care of myself and my family, it doesn’t have to be an me or them scenario.

I used to base my happiness on the happiness level of my family, if my family was happy, i would then feel it was ok for me to be happy. That was a dangerous cycle for me that lead  often to bouts of depression a lot of negative trash talking of myself, the feeling of “I’m not good enough” stayed with me all the time, because i had no control over how they were going to feel.  By doing that i also placed too much pressure on my family to meet my expectations and it was a cycle i guess that benefited no one in the long run. I didn’t really sit back and think of it like that though, i thought it was normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed, after all being a mum is hard work!, it always seemed like something was going wrong in my life, my best friend and I used to complain all the time about wanting to have a normal week! With no drama’s ! We were just setting ourselves up to fail! Now i embrace the chaos of my life – i have realised this is my NORMAL!!! I have let go of the Family Ties, full house ( showing my age here!) existence i put pressure on myself to achieve!

mummy

So i guess what i am saying is that the excitement you get that you are going to do whatever it is that makes your soul sing, whether it is blogging, yoga, karate, taking a raw foods class – that feeling you get, that joy, is your inner self telling you that YES YES YES this is what we need for OURSELVES! Happy Mum = Happy Family with all the ups and downs along the way !  So this year, keep that focus on counting yourself as important!

Much love and hugs,

nic xx

new year resolutions – do you give up before the end of January?

Well it is the new year beauties! I have written my intentions for 2014 and sealed them in my diary for the year. My Facebook feed has been so full of positive 2014 goals and intentions being set.  I have to be honest though, i used to hate reading these sorts of posts!!!! I didn’t tend to be very keen on setting new years resolutions in previous years because they always seemed to be the same things and it just reminded me that i wasn’t achieving the goals i wanted for myself. They were the usual goals, pay off debts, save more money, go on a holiday, get fitter, tone up, lose so many kgs (whatever the goal for that year was) start studying something i was interested in, be better mum, wife, worker, daughter, friend …. etc etc….. What occurred to me when i was writing my intentions for this year ( i like that word so much more than goals) is the reason i feel confident i am moving towards my dreams and goals is because i have learnt what the key for me is to be motivated and to actually achieve my goals!  And i wanted to share it with you guys as it is so simple i cannot believe it took my 30 + years to work it out.

How many of us have said this to ourselves??? xx

How many of us have said this to ourselves??? xx

The list of what i wanted to achieve was not the issue, they were all good, practical ideas, the problem was the amount of them i set! Basically, i was setting the goal at the beginning of the year, to completely overhaul every aspect of my life and being in 12 months.  Achievable? Perhaps with the right motivation and support but for the majority of us? No! Drastic Changes can be scary and overwhelming, there is so much to learn, and the feeling of being outside my comfort zone in so many areas at once tended to just frighten me right back into my comfort zone.  The key that changed it all for me ? Small Consistent Changes! Instead of setting a goal such as – i want to lose 10 kgs in 4 weeks, or be a size 10 again, i set the goal of going to the gym 3 times every week for 4 weeks.  Instead of i will eat healthy from now on, i started with – I will eat healthy dinners for a whole week, then i added lunch, then i added breakfast then eventually as i moved along and found people who could help me in my goals, like my personal trainer, then it became i will commit 100% to my meal plan.  The biggest surprise – the results just happened! I lost weight, felt better and because i was feeling healthier and happier other goals i had set for myself (you know the ones – be a better mum, wife etc , have more confidence)  starting to organically occur in my life.

Unless you are extremely lucky/dedicated/motivated the chances are if you have made life changing resolutions for yourself  they won’t occur quickly. Even the most successful of people will tell you they set goals, planned out the steps to achieve these goals and kept consistently moving forward. Lorna Jane didn’t wake up one day and say hey I’m going to build an amazing fashion and fitness empire and change the face of women’s fitness and presto next week later it all happened.  if you haven’t read her books do yourself a favour and grab them for yourself  as they show you in action what i am talking about. It took her years of hard work, commitment and small consistent changes (and some huge leaps of faith in herself!) to become the brand she is today!

Lorna Jane, Inspiration!

 

I dont know if anyone else is like me but i tended to want it all now! If i joined a gym, i wanted to be bikini body rocking hot, in like a month. If i set the goal to pay of debt, i wanted it to be done in a few months, or i would get depressed and figure , oh well I’m going to be in debt forever and then go buy something else ! I believe in our current society  we have so much convenience we have lost some of our long term stamina! Everything we see/read/hear tells us we can get results QUICKLY. With little or no work required! I think without even realising it we set a mindset that if it is to hard, don’t worry about it. In the weight loss industry results are promised in 30 days, 4 workouts  and also offered with a big side of convenience like – we will prepare and deliver all your food, you just need to make this shake or my personal favourite – just take this pill. 

What i want to share with you is that although initially you will probably want to give up, maybe even 100 times over, ignore that negative clatter in your mind and i promise if you push through, you will actually find joy and peace and even BLISS in the hard work and journey itself! Not just the end result but the whole journey. I get excited about the steps to the plan i don’t view them as the hard part, they are the crucial part of success!  Dream Big, Start small and never give up. You and your dreams are worth the effort. Much Love, Nicole xx

images-7